Chapter 13

Can a leopard change its shorts?

This misquote of Jeremiah 13:23 is common in Terry Pratchett’s books. It’s doubly appropriate when you realize that Peterson’s translation of “Linen belt” is “Linen shorts”. Anyway, let’s get started.

God gives Jeremiah two signs to share with the people of Judah. Both of these are fairly esoteric, and I have to admit I didn’t understand them at first.

I mean, what is God wanting to do with the linen shorts? And what exactly is God trying to do with the reference to drinking too much wine?

This is a bizarre image God gies Jeremiah. In the end, though, the message is fairly prosaic – that Judah is the shorts.

Like the shorts, Judah was created clean, white and pure. Like the shorts, Judah had a purpose – to clothe and protect.

Like the shorts, when they weren’t doing what they were supposed to do, they fell apart and became useless.

There are many parallels we could draw between these two! But let’s try and apply it to ourselves.

We sometimes see ourselves – like the shorts – as purposeful and valued by God. And that’s true, and it’s important that we recognize that we are loved unconditionally.

But if the shorts are not doing what they are meant to do, they don’t just say as they are now; they deteriorate.

If we are not doing the things that we are designed to do, then we too will quickly become useless. And not only useless – useless in a disgusting and offensive way. Useless in a way which is hard to imagine ever being clean ever again.

Here’s where the analogy breaks down somewhat – one day, God will be finished punishing His people, and will take them back. It’s hard to imagine that ever happening to the shorts . . .