Chapter 12

It’s amazing – just when you think things can’t get worse, sometimes they do . . .

So in chapter 11 the people of Israel have had to deal with grumbling in the ranks. God organized a restructuring to help deal with this, with less of the responsibility falling on Moses.

You’d think things are going to get better, but a problem’s about to strike at the very heart of Moses’ leadership, and it’s going to come from the most unlikely source – his brother and his sister!

Verses 1 and 2 tell us that Miriam and Aaron started gossiping, ostensibly about Moses’ wife – but you can immediately see the real problem behind the problem. The real issue is in verse 2: “Is it only through Moses that God speaks? Doesn’t He also speak through us?”

O-kay. So it’s not really poor old Zipporah[1] that’s the problem, is it, kids? Let’s not be dishonest. It’s good old fashioned JEALOUSY.

Jealousy is a curse, as they say. But jealousy of someone’s ministry or relationship with God is even more destructive. More about that later (you know my pattern, don’t you?).

So eventually God knows that He has to intervene. The three siblings are commanded to appear at the Tent of Meeting, where God tells Miriam and Aaron in no uncertain terms to back off and let Moses do his job.

Miriam is struck with leprosy, and ironically is only healed (after a week’s waiting outside the camp) when Moses prays for her.

I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but I have experienced the terrible feeling of jealousy at God’s work in others. In theory it’s fairly easy to accept – God has different work for different people, and He gives each person the gifts they need to do his work. We know that.

God’s work is important regardless of how big or small it appears to be; a big, imposing ministry is no more or less important than a small, one or two person ministry. We know that too.

But sometimes, just sometimes, when you’re working your little hiney off on your small, struggling ministry, it can really be difficult to stop yourself from feeling jealous at God, particularly when nearby there is a large and thriving ministry of a similar type.

I have been there a very large part of my life, because I am committed all-in at a small church in Baulkham Hills. . .

Yeah, THAT Baulkham Hills. The one in which you find the big Church, whose name escapes me but which always writes the popular Christian music. . .

And you find yourself griping against God because “we work as hard as they do, and you don’t bless us as much.”

And it’s not just the size of the ministry. When you see God’s gifting in someone else, sometimes you feel jealous of that too, especially when you see the spectacular gifts like healing or prophecy.

Sometimes that jealousy leads people to the point where they fake having those gifts (we see this all the time – there is a veritable graveyard of great pastors and leaders who have been exposed as phonies). Or it may lead people to be suspicious of particular gifts, when they’ve seen one too many fake – they assume that because the $20 note they saw was counterfeit, all $20 notes must be counterfeit.

At the base of jealousy, there is a little, cringing thought, a thought which stands on a box and screams for attention. It’s the thought that asks “Hey God, don’t you like me? Aren’t I as important to you as him?”

Next thing you know, you’re making disparaging remarks about someone else’s work and implying that if they were doing things right, they’d be struggling too – they’re too populist, and that’s why they’re doing so well.

In doing so, we sin. I hate that, because it’s MY sin (I’ll talk all day about YOUR sin, because that’s safe for me – my sin is dangerous ground).

And it fails to understand a basic feature of God’s relationship with us, and it’s one that you know completely. His relationship with us is based on GRACE, not on MERIT. And that’s good, because none of us MERIT anything at all!

When I first understood this (and it was only a couple of years ago), a burden was lifted from me. Suddenly I could accept that the big church was big because God meant it to be big, and because in His purpose, the big church is useful that way, just as my own church is useful to Him at its small size (for now). And it’s not because God loves me less, or because I am less faithful, or because he thinks this church is less valuable – it’s God’s grace alone! He has assigned each church their duties, and has given them the resources they need to complete their assigned task.

I can accept that if someone speaks more eloquently than me, or has the gift of tongues, or the gift of prophecy[2], it’s okay. It’s not because they have the incredible Spiritual Secret ™ – write to this address! – or because God loves them more than me. It’s because the work that God has for them, which is critically important work, requires those gifts. Oh, and by the way, the work He has for you is ALSO critically important, and requires the gifts you’ve got!

The key thing – the thing that Miriam and Aaron forgot – is that God doesn’t use you because you deserve it. He uses you because He needs to work through someone, and that you happen to be the person who fits the role best for the moment. If God is using you, discharge your duties faithfully and to the best of your ability. Don’t forget, however, God could just as easily used someone else. Even if that someone happened to be an absolute donkey. But more about that when we reach Numbers chapter 22 . . . For now, just remember that God saved you by GRACE ALONE – and that is how His relationship with you will continue.



[1] If you have seen the movie “Prince of Egypt,” you may think that Miriam and Aaron are jolly brave taking on Zipporah.

[2] I have noticed that very few people seem to desire the spiritual gifts of Celibacy or Martyrdom.