Chapter 22

I am not right in the head.

I see things that make me laugh. And it happens at the darndest times. Including funerals and staff meetings (you have to disguise it as a cough).

Worse still, I often find stuff funny in the Bible. I know I’m not supposed to. I put it down to my not-rightness.

That’s why I love Numbers 22. What we have here is a rare opportunity – what happens to Balaam is absolutely hilarious. Ridiculous even. And you laugh – and YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO. This story is intended to be funny!

Let’s start at the beginning.

Success breeds success, and the Moabites are starting to realize that not being nice to the Israelites was a seriously bad career move when they hear that said Israelites have opened up a can of industrial grade whoopings and liberally smear it over the Amorites. Their king, Balak, is particularly worried, because he knows who will take the blame for deciding to be all unfriendly. And he knows that the slippery Grand Vizier will never take the blame.

Remember a couple of chapters ago the Israelite spies argued against going in and taking the Promised Land?

Ironically, the very Canaanites that the Israelites felt would defeat them are ALSO terrified of the Israelites!

So their king sends for a prophet. Or perhaps that should be a profit, given how negotiable words from the Lord seem to be from him!

Now, Balaam had a reputation for being an effective cursor (is that really a word?). Verses 9 and beyond tell us how that comes about – Balaam really is on the line to God. And he’s about to have one of those really awkward encounters with God that tend to change peoples’ lives!

When Balak offers him money, Balaam asks God if he can curse these people; the answer is an emphatic “No!”

Balak then offers him MORE money. Apparently the wages of sin are pretty good at the moment! Now, the correct answer would be for Balaam to respectfully tell the king to shove his extra money up his jumper – but Balaam is starting to find the allure of the large fee that Balak offers just a little too much to ignore. So he asks God again[1], who reluctantly agrees to let Balaam go to Balak. But God is intending to teach him a very important lesson shortly.

Along his way, Balaam’s donkey sees that there’s a sword-carrying angel blocking the path. Not surprisingly, he wants nothing to do with this, and turns aside (later offering the donkey the once in a lifetime opportunity to get a whipping if she does this again). But the Angel blocks their path again, and again the donkey evades the angel (earning her master’s ire again).

The third time the donkey steps away from the angel, Balaam is so irritated that he starts yelling at the creature – and doesn’t seem to notice when the creature starts talking back to him!

And he’s told in no uncertain terms that if it were not for the donkey, he’d be dead. He is now going to have to do whatever God tells him to – you kind of wonder if He was going to before!

So what is this here for? For once the message is fairly clear and straightforward.

Balaam gets himself into trouble here when he compromises. To be exact, he compromises the truth that God has placed in his mind, all for a few coins. He wants God to say things differently to what He has already said.

Sometimes the truth of God is inconvenient. Sometimes we don’t want to accept what He says. At the very least He wants us to avoid some activities we like, and accept adventures we don’t actually want. And at times like this, it can be tempting to imagine Him changing His mind.
Guess what – God is constant. That’s not going to happen. Whatever God has already decided, that’s what He’s going to stick with. So whatever our selfish reasons for doing otherwise, we’d better take note – unless we want to have a little conversation with a previously inanimate object or animal.

(I don’t!).

[1] What is Balaam expecting? “Actually, Balaam, I think I might have got that one wrong. And darn it, the extra money clinches the issue!”